Tiadalah daya dan kekuatan kita melainkan kekuatan Allah semata-mata. Betapalah lemahnya kita sebagai hamba-Nya yang dhaif dengan dosa bagaikan pepasir dipantai. Tatkala diambil sedikit sahaja kenikmatan dari kita apabila kita lalai akan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang hanba-Nya...terasa benar bebanan yang ditanggung...terkadangnya terasakan tidak tertanggung dek jasad yang kerdil ini.
Ya Allah, sebagai hambaMu yang kerdil ini serasanya tidak layak aku menghuni syurgaMu, namun tidak juga aku mahu terjun ke nerakaMu. Bimbinglah kami ya Allah ke jalanMu yang lurus, jalan yang Engkau redhai dan bukan jalan yang Engkau murkai. Cekalkanlah hati kami ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat kami ya Allah, tetapkanlah iman kami ya Allah...sesunguhnya akulah insan yang penuh dosa dan ampunilah dosa-dosa kami ya Allah dan terimalah taubat kami ya Allah.
Terlalu berat rasanya bebanan yang dipikul ini dan sesungguhnya tiadalah Tuhan yang aku sembah melainkan Engkau ya Allah dan nabi Muhammad itu sesungguhnya pesuruh Engkau, dan kepadamulah yang aku sembah dan meminta pertolongan. Keluarkanlah aku dari belengu yang memenjarakan ini dan berilah aku peluang memperkbaiki lagi diriku yang terlalu tidak sempurna ini, agar aku dapat menjadi seorang hambaMu ya ng lebih baik dan bertaqwa.
Dengarkanlah rayuan dan permohonan hambaMu yang dhaif lagi hina ini ya Allah Tuhan yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengampun, dan perkenankanlah. Allahum maajirna minannar3. Rabbana aatina fiddunnya hasanah, wafil'ahirotihasannah, waqinaa'azaabannar....Amin
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Anxiety
I have to fight this .. whatever it is... I hate myself for feeling the way I do, it stopped me from doing things I wanna do, it stopped me from enjoying my life to the fullest, it even stopped me from doing my exercise. I dont wish anyone else to go and suffer from anxiety. It is not a nice place to be.
I became scared of everything...Ive been here before and I dont wish to go through it once again. Please Allah, I need my life back on track. La haulawala qhuwatailla billahil'alim yil'azim.
May Allah bless me and granted my wish. Ameen
Soleil
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Luruh
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Blog Aku
Ini blog aku dan blog ini aku punya, apa saja yang mau kupaparkan adalah aku atau kawan aku atau famili aku, atau dunia aku...
Jika aku mau ceritakan tentang aku, aku kena panggil tukang cerita dan pemukul rebana. Aku mesti pasangkan tabir wayang kulit dan sediakan pangkin dan bangku , tempat berteleku, kerana ceritaku takkan selesai sepurnama...
Lalu aku rasakan, biarlah ianya rahsia... jika aku ceritakan pada teman-teman, tatkala teman menjadi musuh, seluruh dunia akan tau perjalanan hidupku. Jika aku ceritakan kepada musuh, lagilah bercahaya dunia mereka. Jika aku ceritakan kepada ayahanda bonda ku, maka akan menderitalah mereka memikirkan aku...
Lalu aku kabarkan saja kepada angin lalu. Siapa yang 'arif dan bisa menafsir usapan bayu dan tamparan angin, maka beruntung lah kalian yang memahami dan bersimpati. Siapa yang sekadar merasakan dingin dan panas bahangnya saja, maka berbahagialah juga kerna kalian tidak perlu menafsir dan memeningkan kepala.
Maka aku adalah aku dan tetap aku. Aku tidak perlu berubah untuk sesiapa dan sesiapa tidak perlu berubah untuk aku....lebih baik ianya begitu...kerana akan damailah dunia yang satu.
Salam sejahteraku.
Soleil
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sepi
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Who Do You Think You Are
I know I can't take one more step towards you
cause all thats waiting is regret
dont you know I'm not your ghost anymore
you lost the love, I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
and now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are
running around leaving scars
collecting your jar of hearts
tearing love apart
You gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
dont come back for me
who do you think you are
I hear you are asking all around
if I am anywhere to be found
but I,ve grown too strong
to ever fall back in your arm
I've learned to live, half alive
and now you want me back one more time
It took so long just to feel alright
remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wished I had missed the first time we kissed
cause you broke all your promises
and now you are back
you dont get to get me back
Dont come back for me
who do you think you are
who do you think you are
who do you think you are
soleil
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I am my own prisoner.....
I am in my own prison, I created it for me and I am trapped inside. I have been trying and still trying to find the key that has been misplaced along my life's path, sometime I feel so strong that I can almost reach it and at times I feel so damn weak that everything becomes so blurrr in my eyes, mixed with the pain, the hopelessness, the need, the want, the tears....If only I can just snap out what's in my mind, pull off the nasty thought and the so and so and so that inprison me....
I have to be strong and pull myself up and face it and beat it....God please help me.....because I know, if You bring me to it, You will bring me through it...
Life is ...........
Soleil
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Blank, Blank and more Blank
I have been missing from this site for quite a while, I myself dont even know what happened, the time suddenly ran so fast that I was gasping for breath trying to catch up...but who am I compete with nature...
Here I am again, still full of blank thought in my head, there are so many things that I wanna do and yet it seems there is so little time to fit all in it...just sitting here, staring at the quiteness and calmness of the nite, there are no stars decorating the empty sky, all the people seems to be in their sweet dreams under their cosy blanket...and I am still here, wondering and pondering at life.
Staring deeper into oneself, all I can see is a bunch of bones with no flesh...ahhh is that how empty my life has become, I seems to have lost the ball, now wondering to get back in track, longing for the guiding hand of my angel, who seems so far and yet so near in heart...sometime I feel like erasing everything from my life's pages and leave everything behind and search for solitude...but there are so many things that still need to be done...
Ahhhhhhh...life is so complicated sometime and I am lost in this massive universe...I need you Angel...
Soleil
Monday, May 10, 2010
Tears Of Joy
What is the point of laughing? Laughter changes our body chemistry, makes us feel young again and transform relationships. It is very hard to be in conflict with someone who makes us laugh. They go from being our enemy to being our friend, even if we still question their sanity and behaviour.
Why do tears become a part of laughter when the laughter is really uncontrolled?I think whether we laugh or cry, tears are a healing release and wash away our troubles. The more we store within us, and the less we react, the more harm we do to our bodies. Tears of any kind cleanse the soul.
Cry our tears of joy and sorrow and help our body to heal by eliminating the poisons that reside within.
Soleil
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
But Nothing Can Stop A Smile....for U
Heart can skip beats for a while
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...Nothing can stop a smile
When ur name appears on my mobile.
......... ......... ......... .........
My eyes reacted
My mind was attracted,
My heart was affected,
Thousands were rejected,
But u alone were selected !!
........ ......... ......... .........
Measured by miles you are far from me.
Measured by thoughts you are closer to me.
Measured by closed eyes you are with me.
Measured by closed eyes you are with me.
Measured by Heart you are in me...forever. .
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wish Upon A Star
Wow!!! It has been a month since my last post. Where was I, what happened to all the hours??? Has the world gone smaller that we dont feel the time passed us by. What a world. I wish upon a star that all the dreams that I dreamed will come true...
There is a song that speaks of wishing upon a star. It tells us that it doesn't matter who we are, we will still obtain our heart's desire. When our hearts are one with our dreams, nothing is impossible. As the song says, " Everything your heart desires will come to you."
What would be the purpose of dreaming, if dreams never came true.? They are not fantasy, they are the goals we need to reach out for. I am talking about the dream of the heart of which the song lyrics speak. If our heart is in our dreams, we cannot be dreaming the wrong dreams, and we will have the power to make them come true. So never stop dreaming the dreams of your heart's desire.
Soleil
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Eyes
Monday, March 15, 2010
Buat Yassinsalleh - teman tapi mesra
( Penghormatan buat Yassinsalleh, sebuah puisi indahnya buat Qisharina)
bertemu
di maya cyber ini
bagaikan
jarijenari kita bersentuhan
di ambang senja
untuk
berpisah sesegera terjumpa
atau
kita, kau dan aku
akan pantas berpegangan tangan
sambil meniti pelangi buihbuih lembayung
melintas sempadan
garis pemisah antara virtual dan realiti
ke alam impiankah
atau cuma
sekadar untuk meneruskan mimpi
yassinsalleh
0706 hrs jan 16. 10
sanggar simfoni bluesRINDU
2010 yassinsalleh
Qisharina
Hold On To That Thought - wink
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Rainbow for my sweet M
After crossing all boundaries of hurts
i can surely handle any pain
no matter how severe
with a strength of a woman
that rainbow I will touch
when it appears
and when its gone
i will search until it is found
because i know
rainbow appears
between drizzles and the heat
between happiness and the tears
i will squeeze the hot red charcoal
and turn it into a diamond
i will weave the sharp gravels
and turn it into a ship
i will knead the tsunamis and the quakes
and make it into one
a place for my resting night
soleil
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Pelangi buat M
Setelah melampaui semua sempadan kelukaan
aku pasti bisa menahan kesakitan
walaupun parah berdarah
dengan kekuatan seorang bernama perempuan
pelangi itu akan kugapai
bila ianya menjelma
dan hilangnya akan kucari
sehingga kutemui
kerana aku tahu
pelangi itu tercipta
antara gerimis dan bahang suria
antara bahagia dan airmata
bara itu akan ku genggam
menjadi permata
kerikil itu akan kusulam
menjadi bahtera
tsunami dan gempa
kuadun menjadi satu
satu ranjang peraduanku
percayalah
Soleil
Friday, March 5, 2010
My Heart Is Empty
Friday, February 19, 2010
If Dreams Can Be Booked - thanx 2u
if dreams can be booked
I will pay the price in full
even if that means
I will have to stay in the dark
for using the dosh for the bills
because
in dreams
we, you and I
will always be together
chasing the rainbows
playing in the rain
catching butterflies
and in dreams
the time
stood still
if only
dreams can be booked
soleil
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Lost Star - For my Sweetheart
Lightning - For those who understand me
Its late
and am still here
wondering and pondering
not a single star decorating the sky
the nite seems to be even gloomier
than it is
what i can hear
is the drumming of my own ears
is the beating of my own heart
is the breathing of my own lungs
drowning the sound of the surrounding
and this pain
hit me so hard
like a lightning
and I am dead inside
soleil
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My Thirst - For those who feel me
Its been ages since my last post
I just dont realise the time that passed
dragging me along
the long winding road
that is endless
This wound seem never to heal
at times there are so much anger
at times there are so much pity
at times there are so much tears
and those tears
will lighten the feeling
for a time being
There are not so many things that I want
in life now
but that not so many, are all important
so much so that sometime
thinking about it will draw tears
Ahh why life has to be so complicated
when it is suppose to be easy
but I am sure high above the rainbow
behind the moody sky
the sun still shines
and the rain will falland I will be right here
waiting for its ray
to caress my soul
waiting for its drop
to quench my thirst
Soleil
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Waiting
in life we come across lots of waiting
waiting for a plane
waiting for a cab
waiting for the kids at the school gate
waiting for the ordered food to reach the table
waiting in the bank for ur no to be called
wait
wait
and more wait
and i am waiting for my angel to be here
waiting for a plane
waiting for a cab
waiting for the kids at the school gate
waiting for the ordered food to reach the table
waiting in the bank for ur no to be called
wait
wait
and more wait
and i am waiting for my angel to be here
waiting for that soothing voice to tell me
that everything will be alright
waiting for the bright star to shine up above
in the darkness of the nite
like an owl longing for the moon
and i will continue waiting
waiting for the rainbow to appear
and color the crying sky
waiting is a torture for a soul to carry
waiting is a pain that cant be describe
waiting is pure burden to anyone who waits
and without realising
we too are waiting for our time
soleil
in the darkness of the nite
like an owl longing for the moon
and i will continue waiting
waiting for the rainbow to appear
and color the crying sky
waiting is a torture for a soul to carry
waiting is a pain that cant be describe
waiting is pure burden to anyone who waits
and without realising
we too are waiting for our time
soleil
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Pretend
Life is simple but we make it difficult. We have to understand that we cant have everything we want in life, so we have to make sure we enjoy every moments that is coming to us. Life needs to be appreciated more than it needs to be understood.
So if we cant have what we want so badly....just pretend that we have it.
So lets just pretend and not be frustrated...there will be time for everything. Sleep it over and you will feel much better or dream about it for dreams put colours to life.
Make believe.........
Soleil
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rain
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
M2M
I am always with you —your Love is my home
And I know you’re with me wherever I roam...
Through our gardens of green where the sun is so warm
My spirit is free and our soul reborn...
We can listen to birds and feel the soft breeze,
Smell flowers in the grass as we smite at the trees...
When you sleep we share memories in your dreams,
When you wake I am near you and you beside me...
Your eyes cannot see me though your thoughts I can feel
They comfort us both when you know I'm still real...
In your mind and in mine, we are never apart
So be happy in knowing that I’m safe in your heart.
Soleil
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Confession - Just For U
Touched by all that love is
I draw closer toward you
Saddened by all that love is
I run from you
Surprised by all that love is
I remain alert in stillness
Hurt by all that love is
I yearn for tenderness
Defeated by all that love is
At the truthful mouth of the night
Forsaken by all that love is
I will grow toward you
Soleil
You Are More Than Angel
You are an angel in my eyes -
the man who is allowed
to sit beside me - you
who listens intimately
to the whisper of
my voice, the enticing
laughter that makes my own
heart beat fast. If I meet
you suddenly, I cant
speak - my tongue is broken
a thin flame runs under
my skins, seeing nothing
hearing only my own ears
drumming, I drip with sweat
trembling shakes my body
and I turn paler than
dry grass. At such times
death isn't far from me.
Soleil
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