I am my own prisoner.....

I am in my own prison, I created it for me and I am trapped inside. I have been trying and still trying to find the key that has been misplaced along my life's path, sometime I feel so strong that I can almost reach it and at times I feel so damn weak that everything becomes so blurrr in my eyes, mixed with the pain, the hopelessness, the need, the want, the tears....If only I can just snap out what's in my mind, pull off the nasty thought and the so and so and so that inprison me....

I have to be strong and pull myself up and face it and beat it....God please help me.....because I know, if You bring me to it, You will bring me through it...

Life is ...........

Soleil

Blank, Blank and more Blank

I have been missing from this site for quite a while, I myself dont even know what happened, the time suddenly ran so fast that I was gasping for breath trying to catch up...but who am I compete with nature...

Here I am again, still full of blank thought in my head, there are so many things that I wanna do and yet it seems there is so little time to fit all in it...just sitting here, staring at the quiteness and calmness of the nite, there are no stars decorating the empty sky, all the people seems to be in their sweet dreams under their cosy blanket...and I am still here, wondering and pondering at life.

Staring deeper into oneself, all I can see is a bunch of bones with no flesh...ahhh is that how empty my life has become, I seems to have lost the ball, now wondering to get back in track, longing for the guiding hand of my angel, who seems so far and yet so near in heart...sometime I feel like erasing everything from my life's pages and leave everything behind and search for solitude...but there are so many things that still need to be done...

Ahhhhhhh...life is so complicated sometime and I am lost in this massive universe...I need you Angel...

Soleil

Tears Of Joy

What is the point of laughing? Laughter changes our body chemistry, makes us feel young again and transform relationships. It is very hard to be in conflict with someone who makes us laugh. They go from being our enemy to being our friend, even if we still question their sanity and behaviour.

Why do tears become a part of laughter when the laughter is really uncontrolled?I think whether we laugh or cry, tears are a healing release and wash away our troubles. The more we store within us, and the less we react, the more harm we do to our bodies. Tears of any kind cleanse the soul.

Cry our tears of joy and sorrow and help our body to heal by eliminating the poisons that reside within.

Soleil

Wish Upon A Star

Wow!!! It has been a month since my last post. Where was I, what happened to all the hours??? Has the world gone smaller that we dont feel the time passed us by. What a world. I wish upon a star that all the dreams that I dreamed will come true...

There is a song that speaks of wishing upon a star. It tells us that it doesn't matter who we are, we will still obtain our heart's desire. When our hearts are one with our dreams, nothing is impossible. As the song says, " Everything your heart desires will come to you."

What would be the purpose of dreaming, if dreams never came true.? They are not fantasy, they are the goals we need to reach out for. I am talking about the dream of the heart of which the song lyrics speak. If our heart is in our dreams, we cannot be dreaming the wrong dreams, and we will have the power to make them come true. So never stop dreaming the dreams of your heart's desire.

Soleil

Hold On To That Thought - wink

Life is about dreaming and changing.....we cant make dream but we can make changes....so think of something beautiful and nice, which make you happy and hold on to that thought and make it happen......

love life and be thankful...

Soleil

Lightning - For those who understand me

Its late

and am still here

wondering and pondering

not a single star decorating the sky

the nite seems to be even gloomier

than it is

what i can hear

is the drumming of my own ears

is the beating of my own heart

is the breathing of my own lungs

drowning the sound of the surrounding

and this pain

hit me so hard

like a lightning

and I am dead inside

soleil

My Thirst - For those who feel me

Its been ages since my last post

I just dont realise the time that passed

dragging me along

the long winding road

that is endless

This wound seem never to heal

at times there are so much anger

at times there are so much pity

at times there are so much tears

and those tears

will lighten the feeling

for a time being

There are not so many things that I want

in life now

but that not so many, are all important

so much so that sometime

thinking about it will draw tears

Ahh why life has to be so complicated

when it is suppose to be easy

but I am sure high above the rainbow

behind the moody sky

the sun still shines

and the rain will fall

and I will be right here

waiting for its ray

to caress my soul

waiting for its drop

to quench my thirst

Soleil

Waiting

in life we come across lots of waiting
waiting for a plane
waiting for a cab
waiting for the kids at the school gate
waiting for the ordered food to reach the table
waiting in the bank for ur no to be called
wait
wait
and more wait

and i am waiting for my angel to be here

waiting for that soothing voice to tell me

that everything will be alright

waiting for the bright star to shine up above
in the darkness of the nite
like an owl longing for the moon

and i will continue waiting
waiting for the rainbow to appear
and color the crying sky

waiting is a torture for a soul to carry
waiting is a pain that cant be describe
waiting is pure burden to anyone who waits

and without realising
we too are waiting for our time



soleil

Pretend

Life is simple but we make it difficult. We have to understand that we cant have everything we want in life, so we have to make sure we enjoy every moments that is coming to us. Life needs to be appreciated more than it needs to be understood.

So if we cant have what we want so badly....just pretend that we have it.

So lets just pretend and not be frustrated...there will be time for everything. Sleep it over and you will feel much better or dream about it for dreams put colours to life.

Make believe.........

Soleil

Rain

its a wonderful world....but sometimes life sucks

so lets go and walk in the rain...so you will not realise

that i am crying......

soleil

Happy New Year to everyone....

may we are blessed with happiness, health, wealth and most of all peace of mind this new year.

Soleil

A New Life

Just received a shout that Iman Adam was safely born by C Sec...meaning my nephew Iman is being awarded a title DADDY. Welcome to the nappy nite club, boy..

And that news makes me a "granny" for the 12th times. Wow!!!! every new life begins, am getting older.

Welcome to the world Adam.....

Soleil

Merry Christmas

A Very Merry Christmas to All My Friends

Soleil

Growing Down (just a silly thought)

The unwise are all in a hurry to grow up and have their offspring to do the same: go to school, choose a career, get serious and raise a family. Sometime I think dont growing down make more sense? There are some wonderful poems about living life backward.

Just think about growing younger and looking forward to partying and being a child instead of looking ahead to more responsibilities.

Growing down offers us a chance to face enjoyable challenges like learning to skate or ride a bike. So why dont we start reversing our life now. We will get younger each year.

(hahaha how nice.......just a silly thought...nothing else to blurb)

Soleil

Peace Of Mind

As I write this, the holidays and the New Year are almost upon us. I am receiving greetings and wishes from friends wishing me health, wealth, happiness and good cheer. But I never read on that list of wishes the one thing I really want most: peace of mind.

I know people who have most of the things on the list and they are still unhappy. That is why I believe the most important thing to include is peace of mind, because without it, nothing will make us happy.

So next time we send out holiday greetings, remember to include the wish for peace of mind. May we all receive it this holiday season.

Remember, dont waste time comparing our life to others who seem more fortunate. Being fortunate is based on how much peace we have, not how many luxuries or conviniences we have.

Happy holidays and happy new year to each and everyone of you who read this and may you have peace of mind this coming year.

Soleil

Message To An Angel

Angel

wondering too much as to which path to take

is confusing enough

just go with the flow

go with the energy

and when you reach that bridge

you sure will find a way or ways to cross it

Keep sending down the messages

the love, the kindness, the caring

the eyes, the ears

like what you've been doing your whole life

Que Sera Sera

What will be will be

The future not ours to see

Que Sera Sera

The rest leave it to Our Creator
He knows what we dont

Sleep well Angel
And God Bless Ya




Soleil

Angel's Voice

It was nice when you hear your angel talking to you and make you feel that everything is beautiful and will be alright. It doesnt really matter whether the voice came from the left or the right side, from up above or down below or from a distance or near your ear, it is still the angel"s voice...whether its loud and clear or just a soft whisper....when its your angel...it's wow!!!

Soleil

"Who Did That?"( A reminder to myself )

"Who did that?"..Those words tend to frighten most of us because they remind us of our parents wanting to know who did something they weren't happy about.

But what about the time when you see beauty before you? Do you stop and think, "Who did that?" The next time you see a work of art, stop and reflect on its creator.

When you see a flower, a beautiful painting, a child, or look in the mirror, stop and wonder, "Who did that?" If you are aware of the precious works of art around you, you will take better care of them and yourself. The artist went to a lot of troubles to create us all, so dont destroy the artwork. The treasures of the ages need to be preserved.

A thousand-year-old tree deserves to be looked at in awe. Each new creation, be it a tiny wildflower arising out of the earth or a baby elephant, is a work of art. Ask who the artist is and get to know the Creator better.

Try to see everything as a precious work of art today. Then ask yourself "Who did that?" The world will become your art gallery.

Soleil

The Word Of God - I Wonder

I wonder how can a person who is certain of death be happy.

I wonder at a person who is certain of the Day of Judgement, but still accumulates wealth.

I wonder at a person who is going into the grave, but still smiles without concern.

I wonder at a person who is certain of this world's doom, but still has tranquility in loving this world.

I wonder at a person who is certain of the Hereafter and its Bounties but he still rests.

I wonder at a person who is knowledgeable in his speech but ignorant in his heart.

I wonder at a person who cleans himself/herself with water, but does not cleanse his/her heart.

I wonder at people who looks for bad habits in others, but are unaware of the same in themselves.

I wonder at a person who knows that Almighty God is aware of his actions, but still commits sins.

I wonder at a person who preaches to the people, but does not preach to his own soul.

I wonder at a person who knows that he/she will die alone, go into the grave alone, give counts alone, but still totally engrossed with people who will not be able to help him/her.

Soleil

Praise (dedicated to M)

Praise is seen in your eyes when you look at your beloved. Praise is felt in your touch when you embrace. Praise is heard in your voice when you speak to the one you adore. Praise is about your loved one's potential and the hope you have for that person. Praise is like helium, it lifts us up above the troubles and obstacles of life.

Praise does not say you are perfect. It says I admire you and what you have accomplished and what you will go on to do. Praise is the food of the soul. No one survives without it.

Praise is like fertilizer. Sprinkle it freely, and those you love will grow, bloom and blossom.

Soleil.