A New Life

Just received a shout that Iman Adam was safely born by C Sec...meaning my nephew Iman is being awarded a title DADDY. Welcome to the nappy nite club, boy..

And that news makes me a "granny" for the 12th times. Wow!!!! every new life begins, am getting older.

Welcome to the world Adam.....

Soleil

I Do Not Love You....Dedicated to U

I do not love you as if you were salt rose or topaz

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved

in secret, between the shadow and the soul

I love you as the plants that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where

I love you straightfowardly, without complexities or pride

so I love you because I know no other way

than this, where I does not exist nor you

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

Soleil

Love's Secret

Never seek to tell the love

Love that never told can be

For the gentle wind do move

Silently, invisibly

I told my love, I told my love

I told him all my heart

Trembling, cold and in ghastly fears

Ah!!! he did depart

Not even he was gone from me

A traveller came by

Silently, invisibly

She took him with a sigh

Soleil

Statue Of Eros (London Piccadily Circus)

Who carved Love

and placed him by

this fountain

thinking

he could control

such fire

with water?

Thinking Of You Angel

Thinking Of You



Soleil

Merry Christmas

A Very Merry Christmas to All My Friends

Soleil

Growing Down (just a silly thought)

The unwise are all in a hurry to grow up and have their offspring to do the same: go to school, choose a career, get serious and raise a family. Sometime I think dont growing down make more sense? There are some wonderful poems about living life backward.

Just think about growing younger and looking forward to partying and being a child instead of looking ahead to more responsibilities.

Growing down offers us a chance to face enjoyable challenges like learning to skate or ride a bike. So why dont we start reversing our life now. We will get younger each year.

(hahaha how nice.......just a silly thought...nothing else to blurb)

Soleil

Peace Of Mind

As I write this, the holidays and the New Year are almost upon us. I am receiving greetings and wishes from friends wishing me health, wealth, happiness and good cheer. But I never read on that list of wishes the one thing I really want most: peace of mind.

I know people who have most of the things on the list and they are still unhappy. That is why I believe the most important thing to include is peace of mind, because without it, nothing will make us happy.

So next time we send out holiday greetings, remember to include the wish for peace of mind. May we all receive it this holiday season.

Remember, dont waste time comparing our life to others who seem more fortunate. Being fortunate is based on how much peace we have, not how many luxuries or conviniences we have.

Happy holidays and happy new year to each and everyone of you who read this and may you have peace of mind this coming year.

Soleil

Luv Unto You

Wow, that's the only thing that came across my mind.
I have been so busy.
Days gone too quick.
Hours gone too fast, but
I still have time to think about
you, you and you
in those crazy seconds
which will brought a smile
across the water....

luv unto you my dear and blessings abound

Soleil

I Carry You In My Heart

i carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go, you go, my dear and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate

(for you are my fate, my baby)

i want no world

(for honey you are my world, my true)

and it's you are, whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and

the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life,

which grows higher than soul can hope

or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart

(i carry it in my heart)

Soleil

Pasrahku kepadaNya

Cahaya mentari pagi ini

menjilat pipi pudarku

mengejutkan aku dari lena beradu

lalu kupanjatkan syukur kepadaNya

yang menghidupkan

setelah mematikan aku

di dalam tidurku

Siang

kaulah saksiku

betapa cinta ini masih tersisa

dalam kelancangan yang mengamuk

dalam kekasaran yang menusuk

Malam

kaulah saksiku

betapa sayang ini masih terasa

dalam sakit hati yang menyala

dalam rasa gagal yang menggila

Malam dan siang

kaulah pencatat setia

suka duka perjalanan

sang pengembara

Pasrahku kepadaNya

Soleil

Message To An Angel

Angel

wondering too much as to which path to take

is confusing enough

just go with the flow

go with the energy

and when you reach that bridge

you sure will find a way or ways to cross it

Keep sending down the messages

the love, the kindness, the caring

the eyes, the ears

like what you've been doing your whole life

Que Sera Sera

What will be will be

The future not ours to see

Que Sera Sera

The rest leave it to Our Creator
He knows what we dont

Sleep well Angel
And God Bless Ya




Soleil

God Bless Us All.

It seems like ages since I posted my last entry. It's just that I do not feel like I am myself these past few days.....this headache just seem to love me sooooooooooo much that it refuse to leave me alone. The weather did not really help wiv the "now sunny" and "now rainy" time.....though it balances the nature. I felt like I'm living on the cloud......

I do hope to get back on track soon. Thanx to my angel for loving me the same in my sickness and in my health...listening to you talking always makes a diffrence to the way I feel about myself.

I hope you enjoy that unique life of yours....and I will be here always.

Until the next time...God bless us all

Soleil

Childrens ( the beauty of life )

Dont you just love this picture. My neices and nephews, my girl n boy....dont you just wish to be back in time ....carefree life....

welcoming the sunlight every morning with a smile on the face.

Childrens, the beauty of life.....

Soleil

20th century's life

Wow!! forty years ago, when there is no such thing as laptop, cyber thingy, life I think so much healthier. We spent time outdoors with frens and neighbours. But look at now, all the time are spent indoors with computers. Anything especially game make us so damn addicted....and I just think it is not a healthy life at all.

Coming home during long holidays to the village where my parent are, life dont seem to change from the urban life....just look at these pictures......
My gurl and my neices locked themselves in one of the room for hours on end with laptop. These group a teenager's group crazy about the Japanese singers and actors.....I wonder if they understand a word of japanese language...hahaha

And this one, if they dont spend their time on the phone, text messaging, they spend it with the laptop. The one on the left is 14 years old, even sleep with the handphone...and the other one too is 14 years old, crazy blogging. She is a bookworm (english books only) and her use of the english language is far much better than the mother who is the lecturer at the university...lol. She even writes her own version of Harry Porter...

Ahhhh..look at this one, the long hours of the doctor's work has taken its toll. Dr Hanna will fall asleep anywhere she puts her head...if she is awake..then what do you think she will be doing???Laptop lover as well....she kills her stress by farming on Facebook.....I love her farm...beautiful

And me, if I didnt spend the time catching up with the old time stories wiv my mum, sisters and brothers, I like to spend my time on my own with my laptop in my own world......nice feeling...

And this one...mmmmm 6 years old grandson, 6 years old nephew and 7 years old neice drowned in a pc game.....thats what I call cyber kids....they are so much into it and they can handle the laptop better than their parent...hahahaha

And here is Dr Hanna (in brown blouse) when she is off work and awake.....with her cousin Dilla, a company secretary...surfing the net...hmmmmmm

That's the kind of life in the 20th century......

Soleil

I Wonder

I woke up from a bad dream of loosing my angel this morning and I WONDER.......

I wonder........

whether I can still hear my angel's voice

whether I can still talk to my angel

whether I can still run to the safe haven provided for me before

whether that angel of mine is still there

whether that angel still the same

I wonder.........

where that angel is flying to

what that angel is eating

what that angel is drinking

what that angel is doing

I wonder.........

why the words are getting less from the angel above

And most importantly I wonder.......

whether that angel still loves me the same

I WONDER.......

And my heart bleeds from wondering too much....

Soleil

Love Song ( 4U My Sweet Angel ))

How can I keep my soul in me, so that it doesnt touch

your soul?

How can I raise it high enough, pass you, to other things?

I would like to shelter it, amongst remote lost objects

in some dark and silent place that doesnt resonate

when your depths resound

Yet everything that touches us, me and you

takes us together like a violin's bow

which draws one voice out of two separate strings

Upon what instruments are we two spanned?

And what musician holds us in his hand?

Oh sweetest song...

Soleil

Puisi Buat Mama (Mengenang kembali kehidupan di Kota London - Puisi ini ditulis 22 tahun yang lalu)

mama, pagi ini mentari menciumi dahiku, bagaikan

kejutan elektrik, darahku terbangun dari lena tidur

menghirup wangi bebunga, yang musimnya

sedang menghujung, dalam kerasnya bayu dingin

mama, kota asing ini banyak mencabar keimanan

yang adakalanya waktu-waktu begini, aku gagal

menjadi anak watan yang berdiri kukuh, kekadang

aku mampu melakukan apa saja dan kekadang pula

aku hanya membiarkan segalanya begitu saja

mama, disini hari-hariku menatap mata-mata hijau

biru, kelabu, coklat dan selainnya, dan hari-hari jua

kulihat rerambut yang berbagai warnanya, dan kota

ini mama penghuninya masih saja bernama

manusia, seperti kotaku yang sekian lamanya aku

tinggalkan

tapi

ada kekurangan dikecukupan ini

ada kepincangan dikesempurnaan ini

ada sesuatu yang tidak kutemui di sini

kota ini tidak pernah sunyi mama, dari nyanyian

lelagu yang melenakan, yang malamnya bermula

tatkala jam didinding telah lesu berpusing, terlalu

banyak kelainannya mama, sejauh jarak yang

memisahkan kita,

betapa daerahku ini tidak lagi

kudengar akan merdunya suara azan bila subuh menjelma

tiada lagi lunaknya suara bilal bila iqamah

dibaca, tiada lagi itu semua mama bagai dulu

di kampung kita

dan

kadang-kadang betapa ngerinya mama bila

mengingatkan

sebahagian dari hari-hariku disini berada

di dalam bumi (underground tube)

sedangkan aku masih belum mati

Soleil

Oct 1987

Kalau Nanti Kau Temui ( Buat teman-teman )

dengan dharma seorang lelaki yang rakuskan

buahnya yang ranum dan memulakan satu kewujudan yang

begini lain ertinya, siapakah yang benar-benar tau

antara kesetiaan, kecintaan dan keinginan-keinginan

yang cukup payah ditafsirkan, sedang akulah kerakusan

itu, tanpa sebarang pengakuan yang lebih sempurna

darinya................semata kerakusan

kutemui dia pada nyata dan kutemui segalanya pada

ilusi, sedang akulah ilusi itu, akulah segala-galanya

menjadi terlalu bosan mencari seperti telah diketahui

bahawa apa yang bakal ditemui bukanlah yang ditemui
lalu berkhayal telah menemuinya, segala-galanya-

lelaki tua yang bermenung mencari wajahnya, merindui

kapal yang meninggalkan pelabuhan dan menuntut diriku

agar meyakini bahawa setiap yang pergi akan pasti

kembali....menemuiku, kerana akulah segala-galanya

pelabuhan, pemergian dan pengembalian, kehidupan tidak

mempunyai ruang dan waktu

bermula dengan setiap huruf yang membentuk menjadi

tandatanya, dan tidak berakhir dengan apa-apa sedang

kealpaan telah mengajar aku untuk mencarinya dalam

ruang dan waktu, yang sebenarnya tiada- lalu akulah

yang melupakan segala pesan yang telah aku janjikan

untuk kusampaikan kepada teman-teman sedang kita terus

berada dimana-mana, mabuk dan lupa dimana-mana

akulah yang gagal menafsir erti rindunya, lalu

kita sama-sama menjadi pemabuk yang merintih kesangsian

lorong lorong kota dan kesepian kampung halaman

membawa pulang bayang-bayang yang bakal kutiduri

dalam kealpaannya - melahirkan mimpi-mimpi yang

mengganggui kesucian mereka, dan membisikkan

pengalaman-pengalaman dihari muda

dan nanti bila kau mengerti , sahabat

akulah itu yang kau temui.......

Soleil

Was It U???

Was it u

who came sneaking into my dream

with a tender kiss

every single night

with the light of love and loneliness

Was it u

who wrote our name in the clouds

with a rainbow

every single day

with the smile on your face

Was it u????

Soleil

I Wanna Be

I wanna be the touch you need every single night

I wanna be the eyes that look deep into your soul

I wanna be the face you see when you close your eyes

I wanna be your fantasy and reality

And everything between

I want you to need me like the air you breathe

I want you to see me in your every dream

I want you to feel me in everything

I want you to need me....need me the way I need you

I need you more than you could know

I need you to never let me go

I need to be deep inside your heart

I just wanna be everywhere you are

I wanna be your deepest kiss

And the answer to your every wish

I wanna be the world to you

And I just want it all

Soleil

Angel's Voice

It was nice when you hear your angel talking to you and make you feel that everything is beautiful and will be alright. It doesnt really matter whether the voice came from the left or the right side, from up above or down below or from a distance or near your ear, it is still the angel"s voice...whether its loud and clear or just a soft whisper....when its your angel...it's wow!!!

Soleil

"Who Did That?"( A reminder to myself )

"Who did that?"..Those words tend to frighten most of us because they remind us of our parents wanting to know who did something they weren't happy about.

But what about the time when you see beauty before you? Do you stop and think, "Who did that?" The next time you see a work of art, stop and reflect on its creator.

When you see a flower, a beautiful painting, a child, or look in the mirror, stop and wonder, "Who did that?" If you are aware of the precious works of art around you, you will take better care of them and yourself. The artist went to a lot of troubles to create us all, so dont destroy the artwork. The treasures of the ages need to be preserved.

A thousand-year-old tree deserves to be looked at in awe. Each new creation, be it a tiny wildflower arising out of the earth or a baby elephant, is a work of art. Ask who the artist is and get to know the Creator better.

Try to see everything as a precious work of art today. Then ask yourself "Who did that?" The world will become your art gallery.

Soleil

Long Road

Saturday....what a day, my day spoilt for some reason and Angel you knew why....but I did go to my brother's house, missed the engagement party though....and when I reached there, most people left already, so I decided to spend the nite there in KKB.

Sunday morning, my kids, myself and a few others went to PJ to attend another open house at my eldest sister's place....more food, more fat...lol

Decided to go back a lillte early, coz my dad doesnt want to drive at night, and neither do I, cant stand the glare...hubby supposed to drive my dad's car and I drive mine, but daddy insisted of driving his...my boy wanted to be in my dad's car.....reaching the PJ toll on the way back home, we lost my dad...cant see his car behind, waited and waited...nope...not a sign of him so I rung my boy and was told that my dad took to the left instead of going straight... Omigoshhh.... they were on their way to Selayang..mmmm

After much phone direction, he still cant find his way out, and we cant make the U turn on the hightway...what a mess I said...luckily my boy was wiv my dad and my mum...it was getting dark, and when I spoke to my dad, he said he cant see well at night. So I did what I had to do. Rung my policeman brother and asked him to locate where my dad was and go get him...

LUCKILY he was also on his way in the same direction but much behind and he then located my dad and drove his car (my sister in law drove my brother's car..hehehe) to where we were waiting.

Then I took the wheel of my car from hubby and he took the wheel of my dad.....and.....voila...

at last we were safely home.....thank God....

Soleil

Thank you ( dedicated to my Angel and you know who you are )

Thank you Angel for lifting me up today when I fell. How unfortunate I cannot tell you that in person, eye to eye, how much I appreciate what you did to stop me from falling deeper. I want to hug you for being you and providing me with the safe haven to hide whenever I need to run away from the hustle bustle of life's problems.

As always, If I am not ok, I'll be ok. Thank you again my Angel for being just the way you are.

Dont go changing....I will treasure "LUCKY" and let it soothe my pain whenever I need a dose of good drug to relax......

Soleil

The Word Of God - I Wonder

I wonder how can a person who is certain of death be happy.

I wonder at a person who is certain of the Day of Judgement, but still accumulates wealth.

I wonder at a person who is going into the grave, but still smiles without concern.

I wonder at a person who is certain of this world's doom, but still has tranquility in loving this world.

I wonder at a person who is certain of the Hereafter and its Bounties but he still rests.

I wonder at a person who is knowledgeable in his speech but ignorant in his heart.

I wonder at a person who cleans himself/herself with water, but does not cleanse his/her heart.

I wonder at people who looks for bad habits in others, but are unaware of the same in themselves.

I wonder at a person who knows that Almighty God is aware of his actions, but still commits sins.

I wonder at a person who preaches to the people, but does not preach to his own soul.

I wonder at a person who knows that he/she will die alone, go into the grave alone, give counts alone, but still totally engrossed with people who will not be able to help him/her.

Soleil

Mentari esuk khas buat A

Malam-malam begini terkadangnya sepasang mata ini terlalu ingkar untuk memasuki alam mimpi dan memaksaku mengingati masa lalu, merenung masa kini dan mengimpikan masa depan.

Kadangkala keterasingan amat terasa memakan diri sendiri dan dalam keterasingan inilah aku menjadi dewasa, dan aku tidak perlu lagi belajar menjadi dewasa dalam kedewasaan ini. Ah mata, temanilah aku menerokai alam mimpi dimana di alam itu segala sesuatu tidak memerlukan "reasons"...jam di dinding telah lesu berpusing dan fikiran aku masih menerawang jauh ke zaman lampau....segala manis, segala pahit bercampur menjadikan kehidupan ini begini rupa....ah rindulah pula aku pada senyumnya, rindulah pula aku pada lirik matanya dan rindulah pula aku pada gemersik suaranya.

Kembali ke saat saat ini, aku kehilangan sesuatu...hilang yang entah dimana akan kucari adanya, pahitnya hidup kalau tiada kesempurnaan....aku mencari bahagia itu yang hilang dibawa awan...terbang tinggi ke langit biru....

Dan aku menerjah alam depan yang tidak menjanjikan apa-apa....segalanya terlalu kabur bagaikan gerimis disenja hari....terkadangnya aku bagaikan nampak bebayang itu, dan adakalanya saat menjadi sepi dan sunyi tanpa apa-apa....ahhh kalau terbelat, biarlah dihujung aur...

Kusimpan segala memori, kutempuhi segala duga dan kugapai segala harap......

Mentari esuk pasti kan bersinar lagi.....(mentari...ianya memanaskan, ia juga membakar...)

Soleil

Praise (dedicated to M)

Praise is seen in your eyes when you look at your beloved. Praise is felt in your touch when you embrace. Praise is heard in your voice when you speak to the one you adore. Praise is about your loved one's potential and the hope you have for that person. Praise is like helium, it lifts us up above the troubles and obstacles of life.

Praise does not say you are perfect. It says I admire you and what you have accomplished and what you will go on to do. Praise is the food of the soul. No one survives without it.

Praise is like fertilizer. Sprinkle it freely, and those you love will grow, bloom and blossom.

Soleil.

Support

Our life is whirling around us, and we feel dizzy and ready to fall. Now is the time to look for support. Find some firm ground to stand on, and then reach out and ask others to stand beside us to help maintain our balance.

When we were a child and whirled around a post, we kept a firm grip on it so that no matter how fast we were going or how many times we circled, we had support and did not fall. Remember that in our life, get a firm grip and then start whirling.

Our support post can be many things or people. Once it is in place, we will be ready for whatever may throw us off balance. So be sure it's anchored well and that we are firmly supported by the people in our life.

Get a grip and enjoy the merry-go-round of life.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy"

~Martin Luther King Jr~

Soleil

Oh wow!!!

Blimey!!!!

For what I suddenly realized was that it has been 2 weeks since my last post...wow...and for what I too realized, I am 2 weeks older. How time flies...and at this very moment, here I am sitting at the Anjung Kasrah alone and thinking...Ive been here since the last day of Ramadhan....

The Kasrah Station is getting quieter and quieter. One after another left for their nest for Monday... work starts again...I guess I wont be the last one to leave for I am going to leave in about a couple of hours time.

I dunno what I've been doing for the last two weeks...I guess I,ve been enjoying the company of my brothers and sisters..talking about oldtime, visiting family and frens and bla bla bla.

And oh wow....this Raya hold a special memory for without really planning anything, I met one of my long lost fren...The last time I saw him was 31 years ago when I was 18 years old... That was something, and I do hope we will keep in touch between our family....sad his son met with an accident recently but he is getting better...I hope he will recover fully soonest.

As for you Angel, I did enjoy my Eid but one thing, I did not really take any pictures of the celebration this year...dunno why...and I wonder whY, wHY and WHY....I hope you are back to yourself 100% after that long week of being not yourself.....even though in silence, you are not forgotten, you are closer than you ever thought you are.....

Till another time......

Soleil

Knife

You touched my life

With your softness in the night

Your wish is my command

Until you went out of love

Tell myself I 'm free

Got the chance of living just for me

No need to hurry home

Now that you 've gone

Knife cuts like a knife

How will I ever heal

I'm so deeply wounded

Knife cuts like a knife

You cut away the heart of my life

When I pretend

Wear a smile to fool my dearest friends

I wonder if they know

Its just a show

I'm on a stage

Day and night I go through my charade

But how can I disguise what's in my eyes

Knife cuts like a knife

How will I ever heal

I'm so deeply wounded

Knife cuts like a knife

You cut away the heart of my life

Ohhhh......ooooooo...ooooooooooo

I've tried and tried

Locking up the pain I feel inside

The pain of wanting you

Wanting you..ooooo

Soleil

Breaking Fast At Mc Donald

M, I do hope by now you are feeling much better. When I heard your voice today, I knew that you are on the road to recovery. The old M is coming back. You did ask me today when am I going shopping for the Eid celebration for the kids...and I said, I dunno. But this evening we went out shopping after the piano lesson.

Wow!!! 21 out of 22 days of fasting has taken its toll on my 8 years old boy. He fell asleep in the car on the way out shopping. We did not go shopping straight away since the time to break our fast was only 20 minutes away. So as promised we headed to Mc Donald.

Voila....FOC date from Mc D to the customers. Not bad, good gesture. I ate all three.

And the time to break our fast. This is 5 years old, Arrizq my sister's grandkid who is staying with me. He wanted to stay wiv me and not his parents. Look at his expression, enjoying his fries....mmmm

And this is another one of my adopted daughter, 9 years old Alfun enjoying her double decker..or watever it is call.I am not a Mc D lover...so am not too sure of the name.

Here is my precious angels. Boy already wide awake for the breaking of his 21st day fasting...enjoying his double decker, fries and milo.. and my gurl with her double cheese burger, fries and milo. As for me I had filet o fish, but half of it gone into the kids tummy for I have to always pay taxes on watever food I ate. Hahaha...but it was a fun day out with the kids M. A few more days, Ramadhan will be over and we will celebrate Eid, the day we pass our test.

Soleil.

Laylatul Qadr, The Night of A Thousand Nights

Without realising, 21 days have passed this Ramadhan and we are in our last 10 days of it. In this last 10 days lies a night of Laylatur Qadr....a night of blessings and rewards....a night which is equivalent to a thousand night.....This one night surpasses the value of 30,000 nights.

Abû Hurayra radiyallahu `anhu relates that the Holy Prophet sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam said:
“Whosoever worshipped on Laylatul-Qadr, with faith and with a sincere intention, all of his previous sins are forgiven.” (from al-Bukhârî and Muslim).

From the nights of the blessed month of Ramadan, one is known as Laylatul-Qadr and during it, blessings, rewards and an abundance of good can be gained.
Allah Most high has made worship during this night worth than a thousand months, i.e. anyone who spent this night in worship, would have worshipped an equivalent of eighty three years and four months – khayru(n)m-minalfi shahr.

The night of al-Qadr is better than a thousand months.” The reality is that Allah can increase the rewards gained during this month to as much as He wants and this is an amount which is beyond our imagination.

So may we get this night for us by worshipping...this night falls on the odd night of either 21st, 23rd, 25th, 27th or the 29th.....and if we happened to meet this night, what prayer shall we say??

`A'ishah (radhiAllâhu `anha) reported that she asked Allâh's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "O Messenger of Allâh! If I knew which night is Laylat ul-Qadr, what should I say during it?" And he instructed her to say: Allahumma innaka 'affuwwun tuhibbul 'afwa fa'fu 'anni' which means "O Allâh! You are forgiving, and you love forgiveness. So forgive me." [Recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and at-Tirmithi]

May Allah be with us always.....

Soleil

These Things We'll Never Know

What lies beyond the horizon

Where oceans meet the sky

Not one has reached that meeting place

No matter that they try

What holds the moon high overhead?

I've heard that its gravity

What if her arms get tired and

She drop that moon on me?

What if the stars stop twinkling

Just quit their shining bright

How would the ships then navigate

If stars turned off their light

What if the sun just dissappeared

No longer was in sight?

Nor mortal would survive for long

Lost in eternal night

Who was the one who chose decor

Of colours that we see

The blue of sky, the gold of sun

The green of leafed out tree?

Who planned a river's journey

And why do strong winds blow

Who told each bird what song to sing

These thing we'll never know

These are the very questions that

Have always perplexed man

Only one has all the answers

Our Creator with his plans...

Soleil

The Black Holes Of Renewal

When we need to find our energy and source, the place to look is in the darkness. It is in the black holes that the energy of creation lives. Wheather we are speaking of the universe or of an individual, darkness is the source of life.

When facing emotional despair, hopelessness or physical anguish, going into the darkness helps us to find our self and renew our life. It is in the nothingness that we can stop and find peace and answers. When we see our true potential, we can then create ourselves anew. We can become like a blank canvas and begin the act of creation out of a darkness.

If we hold a piece of paper with a black dot on it and ask people what they see, many will say a black dot and some will answer correctly, a piece of paper with a dot on it. We can decide to focus on the darkness or use it to appreciate that our life contains light too. We would never appreciate the light if we didn't have the darkness.

Dont be afraid of the darkness. Let the Director show us the way. Go inside and discover our own black hole, and emerge with new energy and the true light of awareness. Let the tomb become a womb.

The cave we fear to enter, holds the treasure we seek. Spend some time in the dark today...

Soleil.

Looking Through The Window

All alone and looking through the window at the outside world this evening, was like watching a life stories being played slowly on an old video player....events throughout life being shown one after another on a life's screen. Some of the pictures came out very vague and stained...some blotched by love hurt, some came out shaky and some just stood still againts the time.....

And suddenly I missed you Angel......I do...

Soleil

Hole In The Heart ( The Missing Puzzle)

This past few days, I became very teary over small things. Last nite I was outside my mum's house all alone against the quietness of the nite. Looked up at the bright shining moon in the sky, the few stars that blinked, I smiled to the wonder of God and then felt tears came rolling down my cheeks. I became malancholic.....missing, longing, loving, hating, those feeling stabbed deep and created a hole in my heart that it bled....the blood came as tears down my cheeks.....and I felt that I was falling....and falling and falling......

So I would like to thank someone somewhere on this planet, who is always there to catch my fall, who will make me smile when am feeling sad, who will tell me over and over again not to let anyone hurt my feeling, who forever said life will be wonderful, who always has something good to say to others......I thank you Angel of God who is always there looking over me, who gives love without failing......

When I felt this way, I remember someone somewhere who wrote:

"When you are feeling alone like no one cares, remember that....every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least fifteen people in this world love you. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least two people in this world that would die for you. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look. Always remember the compliments you've received.Forget the rude remarks. Be thankful for whatever challenges you'll get coz this makes you a better and stronger person"

I think there are some truth in the saying......I want to believe it is SO....

Thank you Angel......your name is written in my heart and you are the missing puzzle in my life.

Soleil

Being Right

Indeed, this need of individuals to be right is so great that they are willing to sacrifice themselves, their relationships and even love for it.

Many people choose to be right rather than be happy. They will argue to the bitter end about the "rightness" of their thoughts and actions ( am one sometimes ). They do not care about what they are doing to the people they are arguing with.

Why do they behave this way? Are they perfect? No, few of us can claim to be that. They are simply unwilling to view their fallibility and confess to the weakness that come along with being human.

I guess when we are willing to give up being right, we will find peace and happiness ( will try my best to do so ). It is when we are ready to learn I think, that we will be right.

So I guess, if we wish to be happy and free, we have to give up having to be right all the time.

Search me.

Soleil

My Angel's Love

Ain't he the cutest boy on earth?? I just have to look deep in his eyes and know that life is worth living and there are so much happiness around that can oveshadow the sadness......
this is my life, my soul, my angel

those eyes spoke of love that touched my soul, that always brought me back to the real world whenever I felt that life was so unfair..............................................

.................and so cruel........when I thought that love was nothing but a piece of bleeding heart......

how could I not love this life, savour this love that is so innocent and so beautiful.........bless u my angel.....

Soleil