Happy 31st August

Can we really flow with the flow of life??? Can we stand tall and be proud of ourselves??? Can we really feel the freedom in every sheet of life's pages???

Happy 31st August to all Malaysian whereever you are. Independence Day, Freedom Day...celebrate...

Can we really celebrate the freedom of our heart, the freedom of our soul, the freedom of our life, the freedom of our love??? Or are we still trap inside our own life's puzzle??

Only we know.....

Selamat Hari Merdeka buat kalian warga Malaysia.

Merdekakah hati kita? merdekakah jiwa kita? merdekakah kehidupan kita? merdekakah cinta kita? Atau kita masih terperangkap dalam sangkar kehidupan...???

Hanya kita yang tahu....

Soleil

Lost

Look me in the eyes....can u find me there?? Am lost!!!

Ohh no...three days has gone by and where was I? Tonite I've been wanting to write something that is in my head, but I found myself lost....I am lost and now at 3.32am, am still lost.

Am I lost or I lost it???Blimey!!!!



Soleil

Why????

Am Still Searching Along The Winding Road

Why??? that's the question I will never get to answer correctly, I can only guess.....but one thing I know, whatever the problem is, the solution is love.

Then again....love, what is love? Search me.....I was so sure it was there...but I cant find it. It went missing somewhere along the winding road, gone with the wind, turned to dust and sucked by the suckers.....

But again, I still believe if I search hard enough, I can still find it. Maybe stucked on a tree, trapped on the mountain, in the nite sky amongst the million stars, in the coolness of the nite or early morning breeze, along the country's path amongst the thousand of flowers.....

I have to find it for I know love is the trance state that heals all wounds.....But if one ask me WHY??? I can never give the correct answer......

Soleil

OOuucchhh!!

OOuucchhh!!! it has been 3 days....was lost in time doing a few things in the big city that I dont realize how time went by...I missed my site.

Sorry for those who were wondering what has happened to me. I got a call from the other side of the world asking me, how was I doing...thank you for the concern..I really do appreciate it.

Am just fine....except a lil bz and was out of touch with the cyber world.

I'll be back on track soon....Turra..



Soleil

A Model

Here I am laughing through out the session....hahahahahahaha

You wont believe it what I did on my first day of fasting. I went for a make over, well I got it for free for spending some amount of monies at eCosway last July. So there I was, being make over. I left it entirely to him to do my face and my hair.

He is a freelancer in make up business, he is a nice guy but very very soft. Even when he sits, his movement is softer than the other make up lady. Well...what do you expect ermmmm???
When he's done with his part, he sent me to the other guy. The photographer. OMG I was asked to turn like this, turn like that, pose like this and post like that....etc etc etc...wow I was a model for a short while with all the lightings and the crews...........not bad feeling at all....but I kept on laughing. Couldnt help myself.........................................................................................................lol.
Then the editing and the touch up bit by using photoshop element software, it's just incredible what they can do with a pc and a software......mmmmmmmmmmmmm
More editing and touch up....

And more

And at the end of the session, after 2 hours or more, the end product came out of the printer and VOILA!!!!.....I am back to when I was before......20 years old except prettier this time......lol

Ermmmmmmmm not bad at all..........What a day!!!

Soleil

Ramadhan Is Back

Tomorrow Ramadhan is coming again and we welcome it with Allahuakbar.....we must thank Allah that we are still alive and kicking and have another chance to be with this blessed month.... Ramadhan was the month in which the first verses of the holy Qur'an were revealed to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). It is a time for inner reflection, devotion to God and self-control. For over one billion Muslims throughout the world, Ramadhan is a special month of the year. Ramadhan is the month of giving and mercy, and during this month Allah blesses the believers with forgiveness and great reward.

During this month, the gates of Paradise will be opened and the gates of Hellfire will be closed. The evil ones (Shaytan) will be handcuffed. In it there is one night, during which worship is better than worship in a thousand months. Whoever is denied its blessings has been denied the biggest blessing."

This is a time to stop and contemplate, to look inwards and out, it is a time to set our goals. We should ask ourselves what we want to achieve this month, - something we will carry into our futures.

Verses of Qur'an 2:183

Yaa aiyyuhal lazhi na aamanuu kutiba'alai kumussiaa mukamaa kutiba'alal lazhi namingqobb likum la'allakum tattaquun....

"O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint."

The messenger of Allah (pbuh) reported in a hadith al-Qudsi that Allah (SWT) said:
"All acts done by the sons of Adam are meant for him, except fasting. It is exclusively meant for Me, and I (alone) will reward him for it" (Bukhari and Muslim ).

So let us take this great opportunity to make us a better person. Happy Ramadhan my friends.

Soleil

Love Will Keep Us Alive

Standing outside this morning all alone and against the outside world, I felt at ease with the nature. The sky was so dark and moody, the world started to cry as if mourning the death of something. I felt and smelt love in the air...people still buzzing around...they dont seem to notice, they dont seem to care...

Sometime we have to stop and listen to nature, breathe the message it is sending to us...but we are too greedy to even blink an eye and think. We are too hungry for everything and forget to stop along the way to give to the needy and thank God that we are alive. If we dont have anything to give, give LOVE, for love heals all wounds.

Standing outside this morning all alone and against the outside world, I felt a light touch in my heart and smiled. I know that one's love have touched me and I know too that when we are hungry, love will keep us alive.

Soleil

Dancing And Singing (From My Heart To Yours)

Life thrives on rhythm. The tick of a clock, the beat of our heart and the cadence of our walk all have an inherent rhythm.Music, dancing and singing all affect us. When we move or sing to a beat we are stimulating our minds and bodies.

Children have no problem moving and dancing without concern for how well they are doing it. But as we grow up, we begin to sit dances and dont sing our song. That is because we feel we are not good enough, or graceful enough, or dressed right, or whatever it is we worry about. We are always concerned about what others might see or hear and then say about us.

When we sit life out, we lose touch with its rhythm, and our body loses its vitality. So let sing our song, even if it's just in the shower. Lets dance our dance, even if it's just in our living room, and find rhythm in our life.

Hahaha...am not blank anymore...too often we destroy who we are in order to create what others want from us. Dont destroy the person within us that we need to meet, acknowledge and become. Turn on the music and sing and dance our heart out. Dont grade ourselves. Participate in the dance of life.

Blast life with rhythm, sing out loud and dance crazy......

Soleil

Blank

I wanted to write something tonite but I become so blank. Am I tired? Am I bored? I wanted to count the stars, cant see one in the sky, wanted to talk to the moon, the moon went into hiding, only the black cloud hanging above. So what can I possibly do? I have no idea but Angel is looking after me up there....I thanked God for everything......









You see the blank space up there? That's how blank I am at this very moment. So I think the best thing to do is go and hit my sack and come back fresh tomorrow morning. What a day....


Soleil

Soleil's Cafe...Anyone For Coffee???

Actually I have so many things to say to someone but my tongue at the moment kinda tied so I let it flowed wiv da time. I know that the angel is always there and looking over me so I let him do his job. God is great.

I felt sorry sometime that I became too teary over things and I would like to thank you Angel for bringing sunshine to my morning and painting some colours to my sunset. I always knew that there are people out there who are sweet and nice and not only thinking of themselves. I thank you for that...am so glad that I found you a diamond amongst the stones along my life journey.

So I let everything took its own path without any steering. And today someone commented on my pic in Tagged that there are sadness in my eyes...and when I checked, I was surprised how true this someone was. Well they say, eyes cannot lie. WasI sad?

Today I dont let myself be bothered by anything silly. I kept myself busy with my new cafe and I managed to arrange things as I planned and am almost there. Soleil's Cafe hopefully will start operation after Eid.

Anyone for coffee??? Welcome to Soleil's Cafe!!! The drink is on me.

Soleil

Angel Too Did The Same

Last night when I got home, I went straight to the bedroom. Angel too did the same. One by one I peeled off my clothes and entered the bathroom. Angel peeled off his clothes and came to the bathroom. I got in the tub, closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of water on my body. Angel entered the tub and did the same too.

After a while and felt fresh, I came out and dried myself. Angel took his towel and dried himself too. I walked back to the bedroom and sprayed some perfume, Angel came to the bedroom and did the same too. I laid myself on the left side of the bed and reached to the right and Angel laid on the right side and reached to the left.

I am in Malaysia and Angel is in America.
(hahahahaha gotcha!!!!)


Soleil

Life!!!

Life is weird. Sometime we feel an overwhelming love that overflow and yet at another time we feel an overwhelming hate that burn. Sometime we,ve known someone for a lifetime but feel that we dont know them at all and at another time we dont know that someone but feel like we've known them all our life.

That's life. Sometime life is funny.

Soleil

See Ourselves (Reflection)

See ourselves in all; Love all as ourselves. A dog caught in a room whose walls are mirrors sees in all its myriad reflections, and thinks of them as not itself, but as its rivals and competitors. It barks at the other dogs and tires itself out by jumping on this reflection and becomes mad with fury. The wise man, however, sees himself everywhere and is at peace. He is happy that there are so many reflections of himself all around him. That is the attitude that we must learn to possess, it will save us from needless bother.

Soleil

Loving (Dedicated to my angel who once lost the love of....I know you are happy now)

To be in love however briefly

is to be truly wonderfully alive

Never to have loved

is to leave the map of your soul uncharted, unexplored

You cannot know the ecstacy of loving

Without having suffered its agonies

Only when you have waited cold and lonely,

through the hours of night

Will you truly savor the morning sun

Feeling its warmth caress your body.

Then to be heartbroken is to be truly dead inside

Never in your wildest dream,

you will imagine the pain it can brings

You pray that you

can just disssappear from the face of the earth

You will never belief that someone

can cause so much hurt and so much pain

That your stomach starts to cramp

and your lungs fail to work

That your heart bleeds so much

It hurts in a way that cant be spoken

You feel you are slowly dying...

Alive but dead inside

Here but nowhere

Soleil

Debar Raga ( teristimewa buat Rosa teman tercinta)

Aduhai
kenapalah cinta itu begitu menyakitkan
kenapalah hati ini derita jadinya
mencumbui bayangnya setiap waktu

Aduhai
lembutnya sentuhan meramas jemariku
terlentuk aku didada bidangmu
mesranya degup jantungmu

Aduhai
sentuhan birbirmu ke bibirku
menggetarkan seluruh jasad dan ragaku
terimakasih kekasih
kerana akhirnya bibir kita bersatu juga
dalam debar yang amat membara
esuk kita akan bermesra
seperti biasa...



Soleil

Sign of Ageing???? LOL

I wasnt feeling 100% well these past few days..nothing serious, not that I cant walk or anything like that, but just feeling washed out with the cold and stuffy nose. When I talk, I sounded like I've been crying....been to the doctor a couple of times and more medicine......mmmm maybe its the age thing......hahahaha the sign of ageing. Then an angel sent a picture for me to share to cheer me up. You made my morning sweetheart.

Then this thought came to me that when we wash something, it can come out wrinkled. That's life. So just remember, if God puts us through the wringer, it's because we are worth laundering. If I were given the choice between dying young and developing wrinkles, the answer would be clear, I chose life, come what may, regardless of old age and wrinkles.

If wrinkles (the sign of ageing lol....do I have wrinkle???? Check me out) must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon our heart. The spirit should never grow old.

Soleil

One Moment In Time ( The Tears)

Whatever the problem is, the solution is love.

When we miss someone, sometime our feeling will overflow and we will be flooded wiv a very strong feeling of lost....and we tend to forget everything in that moment in time.....we tend to forget something....that actually ALL IS WELL.....

"Don't u hear my voice in your head with my words?

"Don't u feel my love surround u, even though u don't see me?

"Don't u touch the most important part of me....my spirit, my heart?

"Doesn't that transcends all boundaries?

"And u know i am here......all you have to do is think of me....."


And yeahh....we forget to think all that when we are feeling so lost and lonely......
And love wherever it comes from..........always look the same...



Soleil

You Will Always Be Beautiful In My Eyes.....

You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.You're everything I've tried to find, your love is a pearl.You're my sunset, you're my rainbow skies and my only prayer is that you realize, you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

The world will turn and the seasons will change,and all the lessons we will learn will be beautiful and strange.We'll have our fill of tears, our share of sighs.And my only prayer is that you realize, you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.And the passing years will show that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.

When there are lines upon my face from a lifetime of smiles,and when the time comes to embrace for one long last while,we can laugh about how time really flies.We won't say goodbye 'cause true love never dies.You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.And the passing years will show that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.The passing years will show that you will always growever more beautiful in my eyes.

Soleil

Together (dedicated to you, yes you....)

I promise to write something for someone, so here I am. I was listening to a song about togetherness. One line spoke about teaching and learning from each other. When two people do this they create a bond of togetherness because they are becoming one. When one permanently assumes the role of a teacher and the other that of ignorant student, togetherness will not develop. But if we both keep changing places we will become united.

When love is strong, a man and a woman can make their bed on a sword's blade (so someone says, was it Talmud??? cant be sure) When loves grow weak, a bed of sixty cubits is not large enough. For a couple to remain together through the difficult times, they must love and be attuned to each other. ( Can I do that??? search me)

In true love we are a team, a relationship, an entity.....call it what you want. When we are together, we dont need words to tell us the meaning of togetherness. We feel it and we know how painful it is to be seperated.

Snowflakes are one of nature's fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.

Togetherness is the marriage of two souls with no need for contract.

Soleil

Akulah Kekasih Itu (buat Rosa teman tersayang, berbahagialah bersama kekasihmu disamping suami ter??? tst)

Akulah kekasih itu

yang meredah setiap malam yang kelam

mencari dan terus mencari

satu kepastian

Akulah kekasih itu

yang menembak bulan dan memadamkan mentari

dalam pencarian yang menyesakkan

menyakitkan

Akulah kekasih itu

yang menangisi setiap jatuhnya hari

mencumbui kenangan

meniduri bebayangnya

Akulah kekasih itu

melampias rindu pada titian

yang tiada penghujungnya

gilakah aku???

soleil

The Night Sky

Last night I walked out of the house, feeling somewhat lost and lonely and looked up into the night sky, counting the stars. The one that I counted M is how much you missed me and the one left uncounted for is how much I missed you. The cloudless canopy was filled with an endless display of stars and left me feeling grateful and in awe.

Who knows or cares how it all got there.The fact that we are here and a part of that awesomeness of the universe. I felt uplifted and at peace after a few moments of counting and gazing upward at the night sky.

I think we could all do the same and save a fortune on therapists if we just went out every evening and looked up at the sky. And just think what it would be like if people in the psychiatric wards and those in prison cells viewed the night sky every evening. Maybe they would be changed and healed by the exposure to the unexplainedable beauty.

I think!!!!

Soleil

Muscle Man

Last nite I went to watch a body building competition, where all the men flexed their muscle to be crowned the title of MR SO n SO.....they went by weight category...well obviously you cant find a fat body builder...just a well build body builder.

There they were in the centre of attraction showing their body and flexing their glistening muscle.....or is it gleaming muscle like gleaming merc??? covered wiv some oil( wonder what kind of oil they use, coz their body was so tanned and their face so white).I gathered that the oil will make their muscle look more ________ (really dont know what term should I use, maybe if I join the club, I will probably know what word to describe those oiled muscle look like..hahahaha)

Look at that!!!! do I want a man to have that kind of bulky muscle??? Look at those massive thigh...If we women possess a thigh like that, what will man label us??? I used to hear a comment that went something like...."Gosh, look at the size of that butt and thigh...must have loads of SHIT in it"...hahahaha. Men do make nasty comments. But when they have one as such??? ermmmmmmmmm its gorgeous...for me, it reminded me of KFC drumstick...

And there they were turning and flexing and I left the competition without knowing who was crowned as the winner.

Nahhhh, I dont like my man to have such a body. They portray such a massive power but with a very small fuse. Who really want a small lunchbox??....hahahahahaha. Slap me on the face now for being sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mean and nasty....Yunno I'm bad, I'm bad.......

Whos's BAD????????

Soleil

Rambutans

This hairy fruit I just cant resist. Everytime I see one I will want one...so just imagine if I see ten?? Obviously I will want ten...no harm if you are the type of person who can eat everything under the sun, BUT not me....just not me.

So I ate maybe ten ( I didnt have the time to count when I eat, too good to waste the time counting, might as well spend the time chewing...hahaha) and then guess what happened??

Woke up in the morning wiv sore throat, my voice croaked, if I were to record an album, I bet I can easily beat Rod Steward or Bonnie Tyler's record sale ..lol...yeahhhh MY THROAT WAS AND IS STILL SORE...then one thing led to another...sneezing, coughing, blocked nose....OMG...I sound like my body part is made in China, or is it more like 'second' failed QC?? This headache keeps nagging me, Ive been prescribed PCM, 2 tabs three times a day...and now what about my sneezing, coughing and stuff??? Nahhh not going to take too many medication....I never like pain killers anyway....unless I have to!!! I have no choice.

So just gonna stuff down my throat wiv vits and orange juice to kill the bac....and hopefully when I speak to whoever I speak to, they can understand my words and not sound like a barren transvestite....

Wow!!! rambutans.....

Soleil

Green and Blue (specially dedicated to you, my sweet writer)

(You and I have missed each other the last few days, you on I off, I on you off, you here I there,I there you here, you up I down, you down I up.....)

The sky is blue and the grass is green,

and we are the only two in between.

You are to the left and I to the right,

when I turn around you were not in sight.

I ran to the left and I saw you on the right,

I called to you again but you were out of sight.

We passed each other by going too fast,

could not stop on the slippery wet grass.

When I turned around again I bumped into the back of you,

finally we are here face to face and in view.

So here we are, I and you,

I am sorry I missed you which is hard to do

since we are the only two

in between green and blue

Soleil

White Man

Saturday is a lazy day.....

Ive been awakened so many times by so many causes, but still too lazy to leave my sack.

But then the light went up and my boy rushed to me and said..."Mum look at me, the white man. I am going to freak daddy out!!!"

And I said...omigosh!!!! What on earth is that? then I realized that he had powdered his face and half of his body white and I lay there smiling and said to myself. "This is one of the greatest moments of being a momma...kids will always be kid + fun and mischief...thats what makes the world go round."

And I woke up. Voila!!!!

Soleil